After Reona and Riona got their fill of doctor fish, we kept circulating. Riona excitedly photographed the garden eels (chin’anago) the same way she had the salamanders — maybe she’s into grotesque-cute.
“The café serves a garden-eel parfait, let’s have one.”
“There’s a parfait? I want one too.”
“The phrase garden-eel parfait is so much that I’m full.”
We finished a near-full loop, and a multi-voiced argument from somewhere echoed in.
“Hey, Ryouya. Who is the woman next to you?”
“Who are you? I’m Ryou-kun’s girlfriend, problem?”
“What are you talking about, I’m the girlfriend.”
“S-settle down, both of you.”
“Settle down? In this situation?”
“Agreed — Ryou-kun, an explanation, please.”
Two girls — a gal-type and a glasses-wearing career-style — were flanking a man and arguing.
Pure speculation: he’d been two-timing. The evidence: he was pale as a ghost. He had the same name as me (Ryouya), was tall and obviously good-looking, and clearly the type to draw attention.
A normie, my enemy. And a cheater. Disqualified as a fellow Ryouya.
The trio realized they had an audience and exited toward the door, still arguing. They’d probably continue elsewhere.
“That was a scene.”
“That was definitely a ‘Ryouya’ cheating.”
“Yeah, ‘Ryouya’ is fully in the wrong.”
”…Even knowing you don’t mean me, that lands oddly.”
When Reona and Riona used my name as a generic noun for cheater, it landed weird.
“Don’t worry, our Ryouya-kun would never cheat, we know that.”
“Our Ryouya cheating is impossible.”
“And if I had a girlfriend, I’d be devoted, anyway.”
The probability of me actually getting a girlfriend was near zero, but even hypothetically. And if I miraculously did, the next girlfriend would not happen, so the question was moot.
“Just so you know — Riona and I are strict on cheating.”
“If we were cheated on, I don’t know what we’d do.”
The two of them said it with eyes that contained an absolute pitch-black. Reona-and-Riona’s possessiveness was intense — any guy who cheated on them would not escape unscathed.
“You’ll let your sister two-time with you, though.”
“As I’ve said, Riona and I are a single being.”
“If we weren’t identical twins, the math would be different.”
The identical twin technicality was important in their model. Whoever ended up dating them needed to be aware of that clause specifically. Otherwise: hell.
“Per our promise — let’s get the garden-eel parfait.”
“Right.”
“Want it now.”
I was dragged by both arms — almost literally dragged — to the café. We got seated and ordered the parfait.
“It’s just a mango parfait with chin’anago-themed Pocky sticking out.”
“Oh — did you think it was literal garden eel?”
“No, no — and wait, can you even eat garden eel?”
“Garden eel is in the same family as the maa-anago we eat in sushi. Not used as food, generally.”
“Right.”
“The eel in sushi is called maa-anago.”
Riona was the encyclopedia. She knew so much it felt like maybe she knew everything. I asked.
“Hey, is there anything you don’t know?”
“I don’t know everything — only what I know. People often ask me for romance advice, but I don’t have dating experience, so I can’t answer well.”
“Yeah, same — friends ask me too, and I can’t help.”
“So even Riona has blind spots.”
So Riopedia had a hole after all. Knowing as much as Riona for a second-year high schooler was already remarkable. The parfait arrived.
“Yeah, the garden-eel motif is spot on.”
“Well-executed.”
“Looks good.”
Reona started her standard social-media shot setup; Riona’s eyes lit up and she started eating. Operating-normally from both.
———
Many of you reading this also read my other work, “Apparently I’m Being Given Twisted Affection by a Modern Gal Older-Sister Childhood Friend” (https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330669706182980). The manga adaptation started running on 11/22.
It’s another real-world rom-com, so if this one is hitting for you, that one will probably also work. Link via my X profile.
Side note: the manga’s author-bio panel mentions this work too. (Whisper.)