We were shopping along when Reona spotted something and stopped.
“Oh, look — cat café.”
“Pretty busy.”
“Everyone looks happy.”
It had a glass front and we could see inside — cats wandering freely around the space, customers playing with them.
“Want to go in?”
“Seconded, I want to pet a cat.”
“If you two want to, I’m in.”
We checked in at the entrance and ordered drinks. Drinks worked on a system where a buzzer rings when yours is ready and you go pick it up. We walked into the cat area.
“First time at a cat café. So this is what it’s like.”
“Yeah?”
“Riona and I claimed another one of Ryouya’s firsts.”
The two of them looked weirdly pleased. What value they were extracting from my firsts I genuinely did not know, but I had no intention of asking.
“Quick advice for first-timer Ryouya-kun: approach cats with a low posture.”
“Standing tall reads threatening to them.”
“Right, there’s technique to this.”
I followed the briefing, crouched, and approached a nearby cat. Gentle stroking; the cat seemed content.
While I was petting it, the buzzer in my pocket went off, so I went to grab the drinks. Sat down to drink, and the cat from before came over and climbed onto my lap.
“They do that?”
“Cats usually don’t, you’re lucky.”
“Jealous.”
Looking around, no one else in the room had a lap-cat. I was apparently very lucky. While I was thinking that, Reona used the gachapon machine in the café and brought back a capsule.
“What’s the gacha for?”
“Treats. For feeding the cats.”
She popped out a treat — and every cat in the room oriented on the smell and converged on Reona’s feet.
“They came in fast—!?”
“That always happens.”
“Cats are weak to treats.”
While I was reacting, the two of them were calm. They’d known. But the cat on my lap did not move toward the food.
”…Why is that cat that into you?”
“No idea, it’s adoring me.”
“Ryouya being adored by another girl is unforgivable.”
“It’s not even a person, it’s a cat — and wait, this one’s female?”
The fact that befriending a female cat triggers that reaction implied that befriending a human girl would trigger annihilation. To be fair, the chance of a human girl ever befriending me was approximately zero.
Wanting to escape Reona-and-Riona’s accusatory looks, I moved cats off my lap and sat elsewhere — and the cat followed and re-mounted my lap.
This continued — I’d move, the cat would follow, climb up — and the looks got progressively colder. Needless to say.
“Ryouya-kun is a heartthrob.”
“Seemed about to bring her home, even.”
“It came to me, I am innocent — and cat, please remember it’s a cat.”
“Still female.”
“Aw — and to think our Ryouya-kun has gone player-mode.”
Reona and Riona were laying into me as if I’d cheated. What had set them off this badly I did not understand, but the atmosphere was unbearable.
“Oh — me and Nee-chan should sit on Ryouya-kun’s lap too.”
“Th-that’s a bad idea—”
“A cat can sit there but me and Nee-chan can’t — why?”
“That’s not a real reason.”
Their faces were serious. They were one hundred percent going to sit on my lap unless I talked them out of it.
“Cat and human aren’t the same.”
“Cats yes, me and Nee-chan no — explanation?”
“Until you let me erase the female scent on Ryouya’s lap, I’m not letting you leave.”
Yeah, no. I had to capitulate and let them sit on me until they were satisfied.
“Glad Ryouya-kun gets it. Sit right there for me.”
”…At least somewhere less foot-trafficky, please?”
“No. The punishment factor is part of the deal.”
They sat me down on a bench in the busiest part of the area and took turns on my lap. Passers-by stared without subtlety and I genuinely considered dying of shame, but Reona and Riona had recovered their mood.