Side: Tatsuya
“This guy… isn’t the Miyamoto I knew.”
The Miyamoto standing before me was a different creature.
The old version was all slack-jawed smirking; this one wears the taut, coiled air unique to first-rate adventurers.
“Lord Tatsuya… who are these people?”
I shook my head at Maria’s question.
Before the cabin: an armed company, thirty strong.
And I could somehow FEEL it — each one of them carries power on par with a palm-top rabbit.
“The king’s envoys Marcus warned us about, no doubt.”
And then Miyamoto—
“That lady there… what a GLAMOROUS body… so jealous… UNFORGIVABLE!”
He said it staring at Maria, nostrils flaring like a man one breath from clutching his own crotch.
Then Miyamoto’s gaze slid to Mayu.
“Wait — why is MAYU here?”
Mayu’s cheeks colored, and she said:
“Because I’m… Tatsuya-san’s girlfriend now.”
…Wait, we’re dating? Is that what we are?
I mean — that interpretation is… available? I’d filed us under ‘polygamous family unit,’ personally.
Mayu’s answer left Miyamoto blinking, dumbfounded.
“Oi oi — the Mayu who stonewalled ALL my moves…? With this OLD GUY? What kind of joke is this?”
”…”
“Hey, Mayu? Plain clothes, black hair. Drab, not flashy. Poor family, barely talks, zero friends. And we still let YOU into the top caste of the school… because of your face. You get that, right?”
”…”
“Honestly — a face and nothing else…”
So this was their original dynamic, huh.
Mayu just stood there taking it, lips pressed white.
”…”
“Oi, Mayu? Since coming to this world you got frozen out as the useless coward who can’t kill monsters, yeah? Well, newsflash — you were dead weight back in JAPAN too, and everyone said so.”
”…So we weren’t friends… even back in Japan. Not ever. Good to finally know.”
“Haha — exactly right. You and the old guy… a garbage couple for garbage people. Match made in heaven, eh?”
“Silence… you worm-grade filth.”
Enter: Ouroboros.
And I most certainly did NOT miss the sadistic little smile that crossed her face the instant she laid eyes on Miyamoto.
Well — last time she treated herself to the full Hokuto Hundred-Crack Slap experience. Fond memories, presumably.
“Ohh, if it isn’t Miss Ouroboros — LONG time! Had your fun with me last time, didn’t you?”
At Miyamoto’s easy smile, Ouroboros registered a flicker of genuine appraisal.
“Master?”
“What is it, Ouroboros?”
“He has… improved. Considerably.”
“I can feel that much myself — but where does he actually land?”
“Approximately — one palm-top rabbit.”
Hmm.
Above Arisa, catastrophically below Sonya, and well below Maria and Ouroboros. That neighborhood.
“That said — for me, he remains a one-slap problem.”
“Yeah. That tracks.”
Reading our complete lack of alarm, Miyamoto’s shoulders began to tremble.
“Can’t gauge our strength, I see. Heh… fine. Anyway — OLD GUY?”
“What.”
“Enjoying the beauty buffet, huh? Well, your harem ends today. Everyone associated with you gets tied up in a bundle… and afterward, we’ll be playing with our new TOYS. Thoroughly.”
The mouth on this kid, honestly.
Well — Sonya’s home today. Even without me or Cornelia, this ends one way…
And right then — a single palm-top rabbit burst from the bushes.
“Hahaha~! It’s Miyamoto~♪ Have you come to play again~?”
Beaming, spear in paw, she launched herself at him.
But then—
“Palm-top rabbit! I KNOW your weakness!”
Mid-air, mid-thrust — aimed squarely at Miyamoto’s eyeball — the rabbit froze.
Because Miyamoto had pulled a CARROT from his coat and raised it as a shield.
“Hawawa~! I can’t attack with my spear like this~!”
And with the rabbit locked up mid-flight—
“Palm-top rabbit! Here’s my thanks for LAST time! Howl, thunder god — THUNDERFALL, Hero’s Wrathful Hammer!”
A lightning-wrapped greatsword thrust, viciously fast.
Using a carrot as a hostage-shield, though… what a bottom-feeding, despicable move.
“Gwahh~! He got me~!”
Announcing it in a flat script-reading voice, the rabbit came sailing our way.
“Oi — are you okay?”
Wait… there’s actual blood beading on her neck where it connected.
And her fur — the lightning singed it into a frizzy burnt perm.
That sleek, straight coat is a palm-top rabbit’s SIGNATURE charm point, and he…
“Fueee… I am NOT okay…”
The shock of losing to MIYAMOTO, of all creatures, must have done it.
Big fat tears started rolling down the rabbit’s face.
”…Hey. Miyamoto?”
“Ah? What?”
I picked up my hoe and leveled it at him.
“Pff — what’s with the FARM TOOL, gramps? Wait, are you planning to fight ME with that? KUHAHA! You’re KILLING me here!”
I fixed my glare on him and said it:
“Miyamoto — you’ve made ME angry.”