“Lord Tatsuya! That is a ritual spell — dozens of elf casters channeling in unison! Even Sonya or I would take serious damage from a direct hit—!”
“No. It’s fine.”
I couldn’t have proven it — but my Farm Tool Handling skill seemed to be TELLING me so.
With something close to certainty, I stepped forward to shield everyone and squared up to the fireball.
Distance to the giant fireball: five meters.
Three meters.
One meter.
—NOW!
I raised the hoe high overhead — and brought it down on the giant sphere of flame.
SHWIIN — and with that sound effect, the fireball ceased to exist.
“Oi oi… it just VANISHED.”
Farm Tool Handling is genuinely broken, I’m telling you.
This is a REGULAR HOE.
The rain of arrows had stopped at some point, so I looked toward the elves behind the palisade.
“Ah…”
“You’re… KIDDING… me?”
“He erased the elves’ signature high-order ritual magic… with a weapon that doesn’t even look ENCHANTED…?”
They seem extremely shocked, which — fair.
—Because so am I.
And then it clicked, and I smacked my fist into my palm.
So THAT’S why both the Adventurer King and Demon Lord Cornelia made me take a stance with the hoe.
“Magnificent as ever, Lord Tatsuya. I was preparing a defensive formula myself, but… had I been the one to block it, not everyone would have come through unscathed.”
Maria smiled at me.
Yeah — she’s the sexy-beauty archetype most hours of the day, but when Maria smiles there’s something genuinely charming in it.
“Amazing~! Tatsuya is AMAZING~!”
Sonya came bounding over and hit me with a flying tackle-hug.
“A god has descended~♪”
“The god of WAR~♪”
“Ho. So he is not merely a man of carrots after all.”
“I’ll follow ya for LIFE, boss!”
The palm-top rabbits bounced around gleefully, chorusing “amazing, amazing!”
“Need I remind you this ENTIRE situation is your fault?”
I dropped a fist-bonk on Sonya’s head.
“Uu… that hurts~”
Meanwhile, the robed magi on the watchtower had gone pale and melted away into the settlement.
“So what now?”
Just as I asked Arisa — the sealed gate swung open.
And the woman who emerged from the settlement gate was… a tremendous beauty with a tremendous figure.
Blonde and blue-eyed, long graceful limbs. In human terms, around twenty.
The picture-book elf, basically.
Not a single attendant followed her. She walked toward us trusting only her bow and the arrows on her back.
And… not on Cornelia’s level, but that beauty radiates a distinct pressure of her own.
“Aw hell… the elf queen’s come out herself.”
I looked over — Arisa had gone pale and lost the use of her legs.
Maria was sweating cold too… this pattern seems bad, doesn’t it?
And then—
“A dangerous one has appeared~”
“It’s the elf princess~”
“Too dangerous~ it’s hopeless~”
“Captain! Permission to flee!”
Sonya turned her gaze onto the palm-top rabbits.
“Ufufu~ little bunnies~?”
And she smiled a smile with no bottom to it.
“Permission granted~. However… it is permission to FIGHT.”
The instant she said it, the palm-top rabbits erupted into a hellscape of wailing and turned accusatory eyes on Sonya.
“She’s a demon~”
“That’s an impossible boss fight, ma’am.”
“Drill-sergeant mode has arrived, everyone.”
“We’re doomed, we’re doomed, we’re really truly doomed~”
Still — a queen’s order is a queen’s order, and the palm-top rabbits had no recourse.
Trembling, every last one turned to face the elf queen.
…No. Correction.
They keep checking over their shoulders. These guys are ONE HUNDRED percent planning to bolt.
“Wait — why fighting at all? You lot are basically gentle unless carrots are involved, right?”
“Yes,” Sonya nodded.
“That elf is ALSO a carrot maniac, you see?”
“A carrot maniac?”
“Elves are vegetarians~. They treasure their vegetables very, very much~”
I see.
Then yes… relations with burglar rabbits would turn hostile, wouldn’t they.
“And you see, once… the carrot stores near our burrow were stolen. While we were all out — plundered by a war band led by that very elf queen~”
“Weren’t those YOUR stolen carrots to begin with?”
“Half were from the elf settlement, but the other half were from a demon-realm gourmet noble’s warehouse~”
…These rabbits exclusively burgle the most dangerous locations available, huh.
No — that’s exactly WHY the species evolved this much combat power, isn’t it.
And right then, the palm-top rabbits began… buzzing.
Ears snapping upright, fur bristling — and their normally blue eyes shifted color. To red.
“NOW I remember! Two years back — the carrots up an’ VANISHED! The despair nearly ended me, no word of a lie!”
“So it was that BROAD… who stole our carrots, was it!”
“Oh-ho! If THAT’S the story — LET’S HAVE IT OUT, HUH?!”
“Ya touch the carrots… an’ the only currency left is LIVES!”
“Win or lose ain’t the QUESTION! If I’m dyin’ anyway, I’m goin’ to the next world with my teeth in that rotten wench’s carotid!”
“Take us lightly an’ we’ll END ya, hear me?! Mince ya into NAMASU!”
“Big sis! Permission to BRAWL!”
“GET ‘EM! Beat ‘em black an’ blue an’ inside out!”
Ah. The switch has been flipped, I see.
How much can carrots possibly matter to one species.