When I first saw you, the first thing that welled up in my heart was sympathy.
(T/N: The speaker uses “anata” when addressing “you.”)
Yeah—my only thought was that I felt sorry for you, suddenly finding yourself in a completely unfamiliar world where you knew no one.
My first impression of you was that you seemed a little unreliable.
It was as if you lacked initiative, always swept along by the situation… and yet, I sensed a kind of resignation in you, as if you had given up before even taking action.
You might not realize it, but I’ve been watching you ever since you arrived in this world.
I couldn’t follow you into the temple or when you were with Underworld King-sama or Death King-sama, but I was always there, escorting you whenever you ventured outside during other times.
If I were to explain it in the Knights’ jargon, I would be what’s called a shadow—a person tasked with protecting their charge from the shadows, unnoticed.
When all of you were brought to this world, each of you was assigned a shadow by Lili, and I was the one assigned to guard you.
I was chosen for a simple reason, I don’t harbor any repugnance toward men.
While it may not have been Duchess Albert or Lili’s intention to create such an atmosphere… the environment around the Duchess’ mansion has somehow become one where males are essentially prohibited. Many of the servants who have worked there for a long time have developed feelings that border on prejudice toward men.
Even though Lili tried to restrain such attitudes from the start, I’m sure it must have been an uncomfortable place for you.
I followed you like a shadow, yet on the very first day, I made the grave mistake of losing sight of you.
Lili told me the other party was likely a high-ranking demon, so there wasn’t much I could have done… Even so, it wasn’t something I could forget. After that, I told myself to put even more effort into protecting you and monitoring your movements more closely than ever before.
I think it was sometime after the New Year when you began to change.
You, who had been somewhat reluctant to interact with others before, started actively engaging with various people—as if you’d been possessed by someone else.
Perhaps it was just a small change, like saying hello to someone you hadn’t spoken to before. But to me, it felt like the environment around you had changed drastically.
[I’m sorry, Miyama-san. Even though you’re our guest, this kind of…]
[No, it’s fine. I’ve already been here for two weeks, and I don’t want to keep imposing on you. I’m always happy to help with something like this.]
Carrying a basket filled with laundry, I saw you walking down the hallway alongside one of the maids.
It had become a common sight about two weeks after your arrival.
When you first arrived, the servants in Duchess Albert’s household fell into three main groups.
There were those, like Lili and Luna, who were willing to accept you without hesitation. Then there were those who disliked otherworlders, largely because some of the heroes who came before you had grown arrogant after being treated as a state guest.
Lastly, many of Duchess Albert’s servants had been with Lili since her days as a princess, and their loyalty to her gave rise to a certain prejudice—they were wary of you simply because you were a man.
When you put all of this together, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that nearly 80% of the servants weren’t happy with your presence at first.
You may not have noticed it, but the environment around you has changed significantly.
Of those who initially disliked you, nearly half have already softened their views. Since their initial dislike stemmed from shallow prejudices, it’s no surprise that their opinions shifted quickly once they began to see you as an individual.
You’re inherently good-natured, a kind person with a soft smile that suits you so well…
I’ve been watching you, and you’ve amazed me.
You change the environment around you through your actions, and that brilliance has been a light for me—someone too afraid to move forward for fear of failure.
Taking action to change your current circumstances on your own… It’s easy to say, but I think it’s incredibly difficult and overwhelming to actually do.
How are you able to be so strong? Aren’t you afraid things might get worse? Aren’t you afraid of failing?
When I imagine myself in your position, I can’t help but ask those questions.
And yet, despite my hesitations, you still speak to someone like me, whois so mute. You even share tea with me from time to time.
Do you remember? During one of those early tea gatherings, I asked you a question, and your answer was…
[Isn’t it obvious? Failing is scary, right? Not too long ago, I was always caught up thinking about the risks and focusing on the negatives, and in the end, I could never bring myself to act on anything.]
[………………]
[What about now? Well, I guess my mindset has shifted a bit… Just a little, really, but even that small change has helped me think more positively. Now, I tell myself that if I try my best, I might actually manage to do something. But if I give up without even trying… wouldn’t that be such a “waste”?]
[………………]
[Ah, no, that way of thinking isn’t mine—it’s something I heard from someone else. But once I started seeing things like that, the pain I used to feel became so much easier to bear. It gave me the strength to try my best again, to persevere just a little longer.]
The way you said that, you seemed to shine so brightly… You looked truly wonderful.
I have a confession to make: I respect you, even though you’re younger than me, with all my heart.
Watching you work so hard and keep moving forward gives me courage… and, strangely, it also fills me with happiness.
I think it was around that time that your presence began to take root in my heart…
Did you know?
I’ve noticed that many of the people who didn’t seem fond of you before are now happily responding to your greetings…
In fact, you’re actually quite popular among the servants now.
Did you notice?
The changes you’ve brought to the atmosphere around you…
Like how the chef who used to treat you coldly now sometimes uses better ingredients for your meals, or how there’s a maid who’s always eager to be the one in charge of making your bed…
From what I can see, there are quite a few people who, given the chance, would develop romantic feelings for you.
Did you know?
How big your existence has become in my life…
When I sensed that you were in danger, I was so worried that I felt my heart would break.
Did you notice?
When I was about to lose you, the feelings I had for you changed from respect to longing……
But you probably didn’t even realize it. You’re so kind and thoughtful, yet you seem to have this troubling habit of underestimating yourself.
It’s quite inconvenient not being able to express these thoughts out loud, but… for now, I think this will have to do.
At the moment, I still don’t have the courage to express them clearly.
It might be selfish of me, but… I’ll continue watching as you strive forward. In return, I’ll ask you to lend me just a little of your courage.
And when I finally gather enough courage to take that step forward, I’ll share my thoughts with you.
I can’t deny I’m troubled—there are so many rivals—but, borrowing your words, it would be too much of a shame to give up without even trying.
So from now on, I’ll do my best too.
To get just a little closer to you, the one I yearn for…
T/N: 7/10. Last chap for the day