A space ruled by silence.
There’s no chance of any conversation arising.
We have, after all, never — not for a moment — cultivated love between us.
”…………”
The clatter and clink of cutlery filled the room.
The only reason we hold these meals at all is to keep up a pose for Father.
That’s why no one was in the room but the two of us.
We can’t let on how thoroughly cold our relationship is.
……Then again, that may have been seen through long ago.
Not once has any laughter leaked out of these dinners.
And if, even so, this engagement is being maintained… then I truly am being viewed as nothing but a tool.
“Oi.”
I flinched at the sudden voice — couldn’t help it.
Apparently, as I’d sunk into my thoughts, I’d let my head droop.
I looked up. Crown Prince Arnia was watching me with his chin resting in his palm.
“Y-yes. Is something the matter?”
“Scrape some money together for me again. Five gold coins should do.”
“Wha…… didn’t I just hand you some the other day?”
“That’s already spent. Which is why I’m asking, isn’t it?”
“S-spent…? On what, exactly……”
“You can figure that out without me telling you. On a proper woman — not one playing a man like you.”
”……!”
It’s not like I enjoy dressing this way either……!
I want to take off this stifling chest wrap, put on a skirt, spend each day in cute clothes — !
“What’s with that defiant look? I don’t actually mind dissolving the engagement, you know?”
“Th-that’s……”
“Just — if that happened, how do you think your father would feel?”
……There’s no question. I’d be locked away.
And if it stopped there, that’d be the lighter option. They’d put a body double in my place, and the disgraced me would be banished to the frontier.
I was certainly given an heir’s education — but before that, my position is one where I’ll be discarded the moment I’m no longer useful.
That man would do it as a matter of course.
To Father, everything is a tool.
He’s just using me to make House Lebetsenka bigger.
“Understand now? You just have to do what I tell you.”
Crown Prince Arnia leered with a vicious, ugly smile.
He knows.
He knows I can’t defy Father.
That’s why he comes around demanding obscene amounts of money like this.
“And then royal blood enters your house. Lebetsenka rises one rank above the other ducal houses. You get an heir. Your father is overjoyed.”
But you know I can’t take this to my father……!
If I asked Father to prepare the money, the use it was being put to would be exposed and reach His Majesty’s ears.
The Crown Prince would be scolded by the King.
And anyone can predict what follows after that.
In a fit of pique, he’d throw the engagement-break in my face.
In other words — he never had any intention of marrying me to begin with.
Ever since enrollment at the Magic Academy, I’ve been covering all his demands from my private funds.
And that, too, is reaching its limit.
“Honestly, ‘to understand the common people’ my ass. I’m the Crown Prince. If they’d just hand me money, I wouldn’t have to put up with this annoying engagement.”
Crown Prince Arnia’s feelings are exactly what his words are.
He doesn’t want to marry someone like me. He wants to play more.
The reason he keeps making ruinous money demands is that he wants the engagement broken.
“Right, see you next week. Have the money ready by then.”
The door slammed shut.
Left alone, I glanced down at my own hands.
Palms knotted lumpy with sword calluses.
A height greater than the Crown Prince’s. Sharp, slanted eyes.
If I’d been born a man, would I have been spared this pain?
Why was I born a woman?
My long hair fell into view as I lowered my face.
“This stuff…… this stuff——!”
I grabbed the knife laid out on the table and made to cut it off.
“Beautiful hair. I can tell you take good care of it every day. No wonder everyone likes you, Karen.”
”……!”
But his words rose into my head, and it ended with only a few strands fluttering down to the floor.
The knife slipped from my hand, and I crumpled to the spot, all strength gone.
”……Help me…… help me, Ouga…… Ouga……”
Face crumpled and soaked with tears, I kept calling the name of the prince — my hero — who wasn’t here.
◇ Sorry for the short one. If I added Ouga’s scene here the word count would get out of hand, so I cut at a good break. Next chapter is Ouga’s turn. ◇