“Stop it, stop it already!! Please stop!!”
In the conference room inside the Jewel, I was curled up on the floor with both hands clamped over my ears.
Even as I shouted and begged, the abuse wouldn’t stop.
Six villains were here.
No — five.
The Fifth was watching the other five with a good grief face.
“Number one, hands down, is ‘Kiss the Sleeping Princess!’ — I’m telling you.”
The Third was at the blackboard, picking the funniest moments from this Growth.
From a long list of items, the Second through Seventh were locked in heated debate over the top prize.
The Fourth agreed.
“Indeed. Lyle giving his first kiss to an automaton — by any measure, blowout winner.”
The Second offered the contrary opinion.
“‘I love you’ to Novem-chan is hard to drop too. That subtle expression as Novem-chan deflects Lyle… isn’t that good?”
The Sixth said:
“For me, vaulting the wall, slide tackle, finger-bitten by a bug is a strong contender too.”
The Third remembered me at that moment and started laughing.
“Bumper harvest this time. ‘I’ll never make the same mistake’ — please. From here on, let’s just pick a ‘Best Lyle Award’ every Growth, why don’t we.”
The Seventh looked at me.
“Lyle, talents who can make us laugh this much with a Growth are rare.”
He must have meant it as consolation. It wasn’t consoling.
In my opinion, these bastards had absolutely enjoyed every second of staying silent.
Why had I strung together actions like that… I had no answer.
“Enough already. Next time, I’m staying indoors. Absolutely!”
The Fifth, exasperated:
“You’re being a drama queen — it’s just teasing. Can we move to the main topic?”
The Third stopped the Fifth.
“Wait! Just a little more, until we decide Best Lyle!”
The Fourth glinted his glasses.
I hate these guys.
“Don’t forget the closer — ‘I could just eat her’ — about Shannon. Granted, the Fifth and Sixth were the ones overthinking it.”
The Fourth’s eyes went to the Fifth and Sixth.
The Fifth was unfazed. The Sixth had his arms crossed and looked awkward.
As for Miranda-san, she hadn’t shown any change since she’d come back.
About Shannon, she said: leave it to me.
Sisters needed to talk it out, she said. I left it.
For me, as long as I didn’t have to take the blind her option, no complaint.
“I didn’t mean it that way—”
When I pushed back, the Second and Third —
“Heh — what way did you mean it, then?”
“We’d love to know — the feeling at that moment.”
“Come on, tell us, Lyle!!”
“You guys are the worst! If you’d noticed, you should have stopped me! — Or — you stop them, grandfather! Old man!!”
I looked at the Seventh. He was clamped a hand over his mouth, banging the table.
Something must have struck a particular nerve, but it was infuriating to watch.
And — since the actions were mine — I couldn’t really protest.
The Fifth sighed and finally cut it off.
(For how long have we been at this. They’ve been at me for two hours…)
Should have stopped them sooner, I thought. I turned back to the Fifth.
“Satisfied? Decide Best Lyle however you like — but first, the automaton.”
Right.
The foul-mouthed maid-type automaton I’d kissed and registered as her master.
She was at Damian’s lab right now for various interrogations.
The annoying part: my dialogue with her had been recorded down to the syllable, and they’d decided to treat it as the official record.
Damian, the bastard… swore not a word will be missed and declared he’d be presenting our exchanges in papers and at conferences.
In my high state, I’d given permission for it.
Right now, it had to be getting summarized into research materials.
(Actually we can’t, sorry tomorrow — won’t fly, will it.)
The students and professors who’d gathered at the lab — too many.
Damian was thinking more research funding! — but, thought it through, this was a major discovery.
The fact that an ancient automaton had been activated. I’d been too cavalier about it.
Damian Bale — pervert though he was — was, in truth, a genius.
“Well — relying entirely on Novem isn’t great either, so think of it as a helper added. The real question is how to maintain it.”
I’d asked Damian — basically, maintenance-free.
But the basically part nagged at me.
The Seventh, his expression returned to serious, addressed me.
(About time, old man.)
“Listen well, Lyle. Your mana — it’s being drained by something other than us. Aside from the reserve you’ve been building up for the First’s [Full Burst], a new line has formed.”
“A new line?”
I tilted my head at being told my mana was being drained.
I had no sense of it.
The Second:
“Basically, since your mana has grown, you’re fine for now… but this is a constant, steady drain. Load on you is up. We thought about it and—”
The Third took over.
“Reached the conclusion that foul-mouthed maid is the suspect! Heh — Lyle who has his newly-increased mana drained away as fast as it grows… shows a real talent for the bizarre, doesn’t he.”
The Sixth agreed.
“You’ll be able to use more magic than before, but heavy use will burn through fast.”
The Fourth summarized.
“Whether it’s a constant rate or it fluctuates… going to be a chore from here on.”
It seemed I might have acquired a truly outrageous foul-mouthed maid.
Spending the mana I’d just gained on the upkeep of that automaton?
(Or — being taken care of by her? That?)
It was already questionable whether she’d actually work; and on top of that, my mana being drained was the real problem.
I’d just been thinking I’d fight more with magic from here on — my plan, derailed.
“So for now I’m fighting in the old style? Even after all that humiliation, no magic restrictions lifted…”
To the sulking me, the Fifth said:
“Oh, by the way, Lyle — your Skill use is suspended for a while.”
“Eh?”
I looked up at the Fifth’s face.
He didn’t have the look of someone joking.
The Sixth followed:
“Your [Experience] is always-on so can’t help that, but the rest are totally off-limits.”
“E-er, hold on—”
The Seventh agreed.
“We’re imposing the restriction from this end. For a while you really cannot use Skills — be prepared for that. Oh — including the First’s. The greatsword too…”
The Second:
“Greatsword’s also banned. For a while, work hard as an adventurer using only your own strength.”
“E-er, what’s going on…”
While I sat dumbfounded, the smiling Third followed up.
It was the condition for using Skills again.
“Clear the floor-30 boss in the dungeon and return to the Guild — do that, and we’ll let Lyle use Skills again. Oh, we’ll give advice, so rest easy.”
Your advice or being allowed to use Skills, I’d rather— I swallowed the words and looked at everyone.
All wore serious faces.
The Fourth explained.
“Lyle as he stands — counting Skill use — surpasses a top-tier adventurer. So much so that a six-person party cleared the dungeon’s B40.”
A floor that a 50-person party normally barely managed — and we had cleared it with six.
“Is that bad?”
The Seventh:
“Skill use isn’t the problem. Using talent you have isn’t wrong. But — as you are now — it can’t continue.”
The Second:
“Your base ability isn’t growing at all. Not the kind of Growth from this time, but actual growth. Anything goes wrong, you reach for a Skill. Eventually your mana runs out, or another Growth fires and you drop off the line. What then?”
Easy to imagine.
The moment I couldn’t move, the party couldn’t move.
Worst case: total wipe.
For a party that leans entirely on my Skills, my absence alone produces that level of risk.
The Third said:
“Skills are fine to use. But this many, this often — a problem hits eventually. As you start taking requests beyond your base ability, the trouble grows. Before that happens, Lyle, Novem-chan, Aria-chan — it’s time to polish yourselves.”
The ancestors who’d just been mocking me were thinking seriously about me.
(So that was what Damian was saying.)
I nodded and swore to clear B30 of the dungeon without Skills.
Until then, Skill use was limited to my own.
And then the Third —
“Now, the main topic is over — here’s the real point. Best Lyle Award: ‘Kiss the Sleeping Princess!’ — any objections?”
The Second:
“Objection! You’re forgetting the I love you → deflection sequence!”
The Fourth:
“They’re all hard to rank, but yes — Sleeping Princess it is.”
The Fifth —
“Had the most impact too. Hard to top that one.”
The Sixth —
“Slide tackle into bug-bites-finger — don’t you dare forget that!”
Damn old man —
“Truly the genius of House Walt… putting us through this!”
All of them —
“We can’t wait to see what House Walt’s prodigy grows into next!”
— with smiling faces.
“YOU’RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WRONG THING!!”
I really don’t think I was in the wrong here.
— Deep night.
Freed from the Jewel, I sat on a garden bench and looked up at the night sky.
Drinking water in the kitchen, my reflection in the mirror had looked utterly worn out.
“Did you really need to drive me this far…”
The past I wanted to forget — now an important academy document.
I’d thought I’m in love with myself over and over — but why had I thought such things?
No answer however much I tried.
“I wish I could go back to the past.”
Said aloud — and Novem walked over to the bench beside me.
“How can I help, Lord Lyle? Can’t sleep?”
The concerned Novem was in her nightclothes.
I thought she looked cute — and at the same time remembered the kiss with the foul-mouthed maid.
A first kiss with Novem would have been better.
“I just want to vanish…”
“Ahh — today, is it. — It can’t be helped. Anyone gets elevated like that. With Lord Lyle it just shows clearly, that’s all.”
Consoled or not, my first kiss was gone.
“It won’t come back…”
“Eh?”
“My first kiss — it’s never coming back! I want to slug the me from that moment!”
Novem made a troubled expression.
I had to be one of the few people who could trouble Novem. Thinking that, I sank deeper.
“Could we — not count it? Since it’s a doll, I heard.”
“She’s outrageously human-like. So I can’t think of it like that, and that foul-mouth absolutely came at me to break my spirit. If I hadn’t been in that elevated state, my spirit would’ve snapped.”
That ancient automaton — terrifying just to recall.
Why had the ancients built such a terrifying maid?
(Was there a pervert greater than Damian in ancient times? …I’d rather not think about it.)
“And I… can’t use Skills for a while. So many things at once — my heart’s ready to break.”
Novem sat next to me and took my hand.
She looked up at the sky.
“Could I ask why you can’t use Skills?”
“Eh? Ah — well… I won’t develop staying like this, and I’d like to be able to beat the floor-30 boss with my own strength, just once.”
I could hardly say the ancestors said no.
A concerned Novem mistaking me for ill and tying me to a bed to nurse me… that wouldn’t be bad either.
No, that’s bad. I’m going to be the breadwinner and live quietly with Novem… if I can.
Watching me grow timid, Novem said:
“A little —”
“Mm?”
“A little — I was jealous. Hearing your first kiss was stolen by an automaton… is that strange?”
I stood up and grabbed both her shoulders.
“N-not strange! I’m glad! I’m so glad, Novem!”
“I-is that so?”
The excited me — Novem looked puzzled.
I told myself: Novem feeling jealous means she’s thinking of me.
It’s fine… she isn’t fed up with me yet, I think?
“I want to kiss Novem.”
Novem flushed.
She quietly closed her eyes and tilted her chin up slightly — readying for the kiss.
My heart pounded violently in my chest.
On a beautiful moonlit night, Novem and I —
“I’m so glad, Novem!”
“My heart’s breaking!”
“My first kiss — it’s never coming back!!”
”…Pft.”
“And I wish I could go back to the past — exquisite.”
“At your baseline, this level… your future, Lyle — frightful.”
“DON’T MESS WITH ME, YOU BASTARDS!!”
Later, the ancestors used that night’s moment as ammunition to mock me, and my spirit was reduced to rags.
What do I do… I’m starting to want to throw the Jewel away.